Friday, August 10, 2007

Ramblings of a mind left alone.

I have trust issues.

It’s common, I know, but try as I may, they won’t go away. I find myself going through life, calculating and categorizing every minute experience, storing it away in its little corner next to like experiences which can only be shared with certain individuals.

I’m tired - of being so many different people, I change between them so fast I don’t even notice it anymore.

Chances are if you’re reading this you know me, or rather a side of me. I’d like to introduce you to the rest of me but unfortunately it’s not quite so simple. Or maybe that’s not so unfortunate, I’m not sure you’d enjoy my company if I truly spoke my mind. Not that I blame you, I oft times disagree with my own opinions.

I feel like I’ve spent my whole life trying to please so many different people that I’ve ended up a collection of different acts, parts of the same play, sure, but all with very different masks. I hate acting.

So change is needed, I hope you agree. I’ve identified my rabbits, but every time I try to chase them I end up abandoned down the hole, in a worse place than I started, Alice made it look so easy.

Left blind I play the great game of justification and come out on top. Again (I must be using weighted dice). And end off where I started. One full iteration.

Jordan++


Hey! look at me! I’m happy, carefree, I’m a train wreck, Come See!
All my past I finished last and the only future I see, is a tragedy-to-be
So with no more fuss or ado, I will bid you adieu
I’m crazy, I’m sad, see I’m just like you.

It is my greatest hope your nothing like me.

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